Never in a million years did I think I would be in the situation where I would need to say goodbye, but here I am. This isn’t a forever goodbye, but even a small absence from someone you love is going to hurt.
Sometimes you have to back away from something you love to figure out what is wrong. Or perhaps figure out what isn’t working. Sometimes it isn’t what you love; sometimes it is you.
Yes, I am giving up pizza for a while. It isn’t Pizza’s fault-obviously. I would never want anyone to think that. After being sick for a week and not being able to eat much, I realized it wasn’t just my cold that was making me feel bad. I wasn’t eating right, and my excuse? I love Pizza, and loving Pizza kind of evolved into eating bread, meat and cheese for the majority of all my meals. I was using my love for Pizza as an excuse for not eating correctly. I was letting Pizza define me as a person to the point that it was unhealthy. I decided to eat everything I never eat After a week, I feel better than I have this entire year.
This HUGE change (no, I am not being dramatic) made me think about the other things in my life that were my Pizza. In this case I mean, “Pizza”: my excuse for not trying or changing my ways. I realized I used my excuse of being “tired” as a reason to not make plans during the week. Yes, it is good to go home and relax after a long day at work, but who needs that every night? Friday night through Sunday night are not the only times I should go do something with friends or family.
I spiraled from there. My fear of rejection was my excuse for not communicating well with the people I care about. Not knowing what I want out of life was my excuse for making decisions that may be toxic for my future. So many things were Pizza in my life. WHY WAS PIZZA HAVING SUCH A BAD EFFECT ON MY LIFE? WHY MUST THE THINGS WE LOVE SLOWLY KILL US?
So, I’m not eating pizza for a little while. I am not going to close myself off from it forever, but I think there are some things I need to figure out. Is the weird discoloration on my neck from all the white bread I am eating or is it from stress? Am I feeling tired all the time because I’m not eating anything with natural nutrition or am I overworking myself?
Maybe during this time I will also deal with the other Pizza-type issues I have been overlooking. Maybe.
We are on a break, Pizza. Just a small break. Everyone please have pizza this week for me. Needing some support and love right now.