What It’s Like To Feel Everything

I love personality tests. I have read my horoscope almost every day of my life. I will take every “What festival food are you?” type quizzes until I truly understand who I am within. (I am usually a funnel cake unless I get a pizza ice cream cone, it really depends on my mood that day.) Even if horoscopes and personality tests at the end of the day mean absolutely nothing, it’s nice to have an excuse as to why my day was bad. Ahh, Mercury was in damn retrograde again. Makes sense.

Because of this I know these two things: I am an INFJ personality type for Myers Briggs, and I am a Pisces. And you know what that means? I am the biggest emotional baby ever.

On a thinking vs. feeling scale for the INFJ personality, I am 100% feeling which means I make decisions based entirely on my feelings about a situation and others. I didn’t even get like a 92%, just to give myself a little hope that I am not totally living my life in the clouds. Nope, if I feel like I need to tell my family how  deeply I love them at two in the morning, I guess they are going to wake up to a weirdly long, sappy text tomorrow. Someone cut me in line. Should I say something rude? No, because that may hurt their feelings.

Then there’s the whole Pisces thing where almost every description will tell you we cry and care too much about everything. You cry during a Publix commercial one too many times and apparently you can’t handle your emotions?

So, I feel everything. If a friend tells me they are sad and stressed, I suddenly empathize so much with them that I feel like I need a glass of wine. This is great for my friend who also wants a glass of wine; however, now I am drinking a whole bottle of wine because of some secondhand emotions.

Is there anything good when it comes to the person who actually feels (almost) too much though? Well, I get to connect with people on a deeper level. I am great at listening and putting myself in others’ shoes. However, I always have to be careful who I give my time to because of how exhausting that can be if I do it for everyone.

I will be the first to admit I usually think negatively of feeling anything. I realize I prevented myself from feeling most things because I knew how deeply they would hit me, a little more than most people. But, if you don’t feel anything, you aren’t really experiencing being human. You can’t experience being extremely happy without knowing what it means to be immensely sad.

So, what is it like to feel everything? Exhausting and rewarding all at the same time. If you want to vent to me about your day, I’m totally here. Just remember you’ll be needing to bring two tubs of ice cream because ya girl is going to need it just as much as you are.

 

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