My Beef With: “Date a girl who…”

I believe I have already informed the public of how apprehensive and cautious I am of taking others’ advice or opinions to heart. We are all entitled to our own opinions and way of living, and that is great! Yay, different opinions! To badly quote One Direction: that is what makes [all of us] beautiful!

That being said, I cannot stand these trending articles titled with something along the lines of “Date a girl who…” You can fill in the blank with anything and probably find an article on it. “Date a girl who writes” “Date a girl who reads” “Date a girl who plays with sock puppets” Okay, usually they have to do with intelligence and traits people deem as “ideal,” not saying sock puppetry is neither of those things because it certainly can be, but can we just look at this for a second?

The first thing that angers me is that these authors are telling readers to date a particular girl they found great. This is fine, but they are chalking it up to say all girls who read are essentially the same person. Oh, you should date a girl who reads because she is super intelligent. I have met a few people who enjoy reading, but I would never want to have a full-on scholarly debate with them. Not all girls who write are going to write about you, their significant other. The only time I really write about people specifically is when I am angry or hurt by them…so any guy I date shouldn’t be hoping for that piece to come out. Sure, those girls who enjoy reading seem to like to escape to different worlds and explore new literature, and those who write seem to be better with words and vocabulary, but there are girls out there who don’t like doing either very much and are just as creative and knowledgeable as the next.

Second, why are they only girls? I know I am being very generic when I say this, but I have not seen one article of this style that is “Date a guy who…” or what about “Date a person who…” Is it only up to women to be intelligent, creative, mysterious, attractive, and all around the “perfect” person? Sometimes I think the females of the world have this unrealistic expectation that they need to learn everything, master everything, and know everything and sit around for a man or another woman to choose them. They need to know how to cook, and be understanding, and know exactly how to please everyone in their life, and that just isn’t how the world works. No matter who is in the relationship, whether it be a man or a woman, no one person in a relationship should be striving to be perfect while the other one is so entitled that they choose them. No. Nope. Nu huh. It doesn’t work like that.

Number three: similar interests are more important than interests society deems “ideal.” What if I don’t like to read? Then why the heck would I care if the person I am dating does? Why would that be on my checklist of things I want in a significant other? If we are going to be going by this logic, then I could write a whole article on why people should date individuals who like stand-up comedy. Or people who like drinking lots of wine. Or people who like to lay on the floor when the world feels overwhelming. These articles would pretty much only be relevant to my preferences, right? Exactly. Reading, writing, visiting museums, being musically knowledgeable and the like are just things we think everyone wants in one another. But it isn’t true for everyone. Similar interests are what attract people to one another and allow a relationship to grow. I don’t care if a guy likes to write. He can’t compete with me anyways AAAAAAAYYYYYY-OOOOOOO, am I right?

Lastly, most of the time it isn’t exactly about a person’s interests and whether or not he or she loves the same Fall Out Boy album as you, but how they make you feel. Do they make you laugh? Does your seemingly exhausting and boring day seem to brighten up when you talk with them? Do they make you feel safe? Do you love them? If you have this mental checklist in your head of all the perfect qualities you are expecting to find in another, you may be making dating a lot more complicated than it needs to be. Interests may connect you to each other in the first place, but real, true, honest feelings are what will keep you together. Of course, I’m not a dating expert in the slightest, so don’t quote me on that if you get break up tomorrow…

I understand the appeal and thought behind these articles. The authors are highlighting the good qualities that come along with dating these particular women. A girl who reads may listen to you more intently and understand your side of the story better. A girl who writes might notice the small habits you adopt over time or the way you always clench your hands before you get frustrated. I personally wish the titles were something like “Why I date girls who write” or something not so…demanding.

But, if we are on the subject…you should all date a blogger.~*~ ❤ ~*~

 

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